Community newspaper Guangzhou Daily Guangzhou --- who?
Tong Mei Mei
day appointment guidance clinic, said a woman was trapped emotion, I am still consulting their earlier than the appointed time to 30 minutes, had to be arranged in the reception room. family have come , the father looked anxious, depressed mother and sister looking dark however, the stop-smoking brother, irritability, the large space in front of five seems to be crowded and dignified.
father and mother must first talk with me alone, my sister and brother also told the room. the father and mother complains bitterly blame, constantly complained that lasted a few minutes later, I asked them: Who needs advice? who is booking the consultation?
sat down after a few minutes Mu Yan my eyes, tell me why the appointment of this counseling?
visitors called Mu Yan, handsome and dignified, bright eyes lips, fair, just brow Zhou Zhao Yang Zhao depression, left a deep impression on me ., 30, Beijing, Shenzhen is now 500 strong, white-collar workers, a successful career on the parents is filial piety, character docile, obedient, academic excellence, is a very gentle woman, has been the proud parents. < br> parents two months before a friend introduced to the Trustee four years older than the Muslim returnees, Dr. Yan, the family in all aspects of the condition is impeccable good match, but Yan met once, to make no longer meet Dr. Emma has a crush on, things to be Yan's parents know what to ask for it? Emma back in the south to know the second year in Shenzhen to fall in love out of control situation as a married man, the feelings have to hard to wait for seven years, seven years on the parents hide, because she felt very well, parents know that this thing will happen after the earthquake at home, much less agreed.
after the parents know as a lightning bolt, Xiufen harder and harder, watching the daughter of 7 years from their parents, can not understand the small to large roll student, outstanding graduates of prestigious universities, teachers and neighbors have to praise the good girl, how could destroy others into a third family who?
since their parents also know the pain after the abnormal heart Yan, emotional ups and downs much, sometimes sad and sometimes irritable, have tried to commit suicide. currently on sick leave at home, feel that there is no way out, agreed to the decision of parents for a psychological advice, hoping to find the real causes and solutions, Yan began a course of 120 hours of professional psychological treatment.
Yan experienced a total of 120 hours of 4 stages of psychological treatment.
learned myself from 10 months to 5 years old, because there is no way to take care of their parents busy with work and was sent to the country's grandmother, grandmother like boys. Here is not grandma love, but not carefully taken care of. a child is often the village with her grandmother child neglect and bullying, My life was boring and long .5 returned to their parents around the age of brother and sister shared a room, feel lonely and difficult, very long time to adapt to home life difficult.
brother and sister both loved ones and also between the competitors , such as a Anchaoyongdong the river, keep the competition with parental love and attention. because her parents are no longer small for a long time, habits and ways of communication are difficult to adapt. parents away, sometimes with his brother conflict sister, brother and sometimes try to bully the new sister, sister chimed in as if to the side, Yan, do not feel like a member of this family, the children seem to have been picked up, parents never know what happens between them, and no time to care for and care.
in this family no one cares about and understand the form of single-tone Yan, her inner thinking? slowly Yan found that the performance of its outstanding parents very concerned about the time, to the Based on this family, we need to learn a good listener, so as to more than brother and sister in order to create the position in the family. completed their parents desire to become a subtle unknowingly Yan ideal: admitted to the national key university. < br> Mu Yan through their own efforts really do, as parents, friends, relatives and earn enough in the face, focus and appreciation for their parents. But all this success, the price is loss of self-Yan, lost their and the pursuit of love, repressed inner ideals and the pursuit of Yan, has been saddled with the ideal of their parents, the parents realize the dream has become a puppet.
heart trauma, will change into a seemingly inexplicable behavior: love a married man!
that is, deep down, Yan childhood parental neglect and dereliction of duty, full of sadness, resentment and anger. but because of fear, dare not and do not know how to express their anger, anger with can not be expected to disaster, fear of abandonment and isolation by the family, and those feelings were covered with dust or even forgotten in my heart a long time that never happened.
never had the opportunity accompanied by the awakening of inner south Yan Mu Shenzhen, with space for living alone, making her the opportunity to discover their own emotional needs, until one day in real life things are triggered, there he was, on Yan meticulous care and love, so that in the native place of Yan, light years long for inner warmth, the warmth of family and warm, out of control, and deserted by the feel their sadness, helplessness, sadness and anger of their parents, understand that this is a normal human emotional reaction of anger does not mean do not love my father and mother have the right to own grief and anger, slowly combing a 30-year trauma, experienced a fell in love with this man is an ideal father dies, as expected father's care, care, care about their! married: the father is not married and ideals.
but a caring, responsible and loves its own independent man.
not his red flag that does not fall, colorful flags fluttering heart and split the division of love, Mu Yan went through a difficult spiritual path, a strong go down, and finally began to find their own alternative life half of the new life, a new self.
mm finally understand why his obedient children from their parents into the eyes of the so-called moral hazard children.
life The self-test question:
First, suicidal thoughts, sad, lost confidence in life.
Second, emotional instability, insomnia, irritable or depressed mood, more than 30 days continuously.
III work often feel the pressure, often can not concentrate, affecting the efficiency of more than 30 days do not want to go to work.
four lovelorn breakup, a divorce after 30 days, emotions, feelings can not come out.
five, unhappy relationships, often lose control, regardless of where the temper.
six, total body feel uncomfortable, but the indicators of normal hospital.
readers may question the above self, there is an answer not, belong to the psychological disease,
need to seek professional psychological counseling in a timely manner to help prevent irreversible deterioration.
Note:
Psychological Weaning:
a man baby, do not feel, and the mother of life separation When the children grew older as the psychological maturity, necessarily mean loneliness and separation. to get out of this isolation and loneliness, we must first become an independent person psychologically in order to establish a connection with others, to get out of this by the separation the anxiety and loneliness. mental age stay or delay for some reason, not from their parents because of the > Reconstruction:
change the original perception, such as values and the angle of approach, a positive attitude, know how to use an objective attitude toward himself and others and start a new perception and behavior. < br> spiritual regeneration:
, including the sound coming out of your parents, behavior patterns, the procedure to get rid of your inner freedom.
have reliable personality is kind of growth that is more mature adults.
mature person is a dependent or rely on any one does not need,
can enjoy and get along with their own, with their own inner peace to feel the joy together.
meditation alone is not isolated.
leave her mother's womb, If in the womb more than 9 months the mother will die will die.
family environment you have to leave the uterus, into the larger world.
but the inner depths of the child, still want to rely on a layer in the womb layer of the uterus, to protect themselves and do not assume any responsibility for the results of the risk decision.
the spirit of the uterus must be broken second birth as an independent person called a to get rid of the parents is: the only way to feel gratitude to their parents, full and free alone.
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